Thursday, March 1, 2012


There are a lot of things I have taken for granted in the past and probably still do now. But one thing I have always really valued is touch. Tom and I touched a lot. Intimately of course, but also passing each other in the hall, or sitting at the table, or just moving around the house. And in bed sleeping. I don't think we were ever within 5 feet of each other without a touch happening every few minutes.

I still get touched. My mom or dad hugs me, basic contact with the ladies at Bel Inizio, hand shakes or pats with other athletes. But it is not the same. And the difference is not because Tom and were married or in love or very familiar with each other. It was the intimate of a man. Guys touch different even if you are not sleeping with them. The hand is bigger or the movement stronger, or the grasp firmer. It is more like touch with intent, than touch as a byproduct.

What is so cool is the firm guidance of hand on your back as a door is opened for you by a guy you know. Or a hand reaching to help you up. It is the touch that dies in a bad marriage or sparks in a new relationship or reassures with a friend.

These days touch is scary. People don't touch because someone will go to HR and complain or get offended or read way too much into it. And in all of it it is easy to forget how wonderful it is to lose yourself in a long, deep hug, or to just have someone rub your shoulders.

Will smile for touch.

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