Cuddling

Tom was a heck of a cuddler. Not "cuddler" like in "amazing sex machine" (that will be a different post) but "cuddler" like warm and cozy and inter-twined. Allow me to elaborate. There is the cuddler and the cuddlee. When you are doing it perfect the cuddler's knees fit in the cuddlee's back of knees. The cuddlee's butt fits in the cuddler's pelvic area. The cuddler's arm reaches over and the cuddlee takes the arm and bends it up so the hand is near the mouth for little kisses and breathing on. The cuddler breathes in the cuddlee's neck and hair.

Tom and I rarely went to bed at the same time but somehow in the middle of the night and in the early morning we found each other and cuddled like crazy. Every dawn we agreed it was the best part of our day.

Sometimes Tom would come to bed and read for a while. I would sckootch over and (much like Spenser used to do) manage to get my head under his arm. That made it very hard for Tom to turn the pages but how annoyed can you get when your love button is actively willing to put her face near your arm pit at the end of a long day?

Many nights I would go to bed to read and Tom would stay up to watch tv. When I was done I would stick my head around the corner and ask him to tuck me in. Then for no reason I can imagine I would race to bed and lay stiff as a board on my back pretending to be asleep. Tom would come in and starting with my neck tuck me in along the shoulders, down my sides, to my hips, down my legs and then my feet. And just to make sure he would tuck in again all the way up to my shoulders.

Then quiet as a mouse he would brush the hair from my forehead and give me a kiss on the brow. Then he would kiss my lips, turn out the light, sneak away, and close the door. I would fall asleep smiling.

Now I am telling you this for two reasons. One is my incessant need to recall Tom. The other is because it is so important for all of us to know that we are creating memories. It is not the bouquet of flowers, or expensive dinner that stays in memory. It is the gentle backward hug you give every time your love is doing the dishes or how you call out "Lovebucket I'm home" every evening at 7 p.m. It is the habits of love that make such a huge difference.

I promise you that I am right on this one.