Generally speaking, I welcome help. I need it alot. I have run almost 40 races marathons or longer and I'll bet in 35 of them I needed help or encouragement in a serious way. Usually it was from Tom. I would be running and running and decide it was just too hard. I would promise myself I could quit next time I saw Tom sagging for me. And I would see him and I would try and quit and he would somehow talk me into running a bit longer. And then I would finish.
On the other hand if Tom was having a bad run or a bad training session and I tired to encourage him things went to shit in a hurry. Some of our best running "discussions" ended with him firmly but politely telling me to leave him alone and run ahead. I never figured out how to inspire him when he was down.
One the best times he ever kept me going was climbing Kilimanjaro. In truth, I trained harder, I was more fit, and I climbed that mountain strong and fast and happy. Tom's experience was slower, more painful and not as joyful. The same held true on summit day (we started climbing at 11 pm). Tom was tired and slow and I could not inspire him. He slogged along.
When the sun comes up you are supposed to be at the summit. We were not. We were a SERIOUS scree hill and a one mile path from the top. We sat down to watch the sun come up and when I sat I dropped my pole and it rolled a little ways away. At that point I can distinctly remember deciding I had climbed far enough and it was a bummer that the pole was so far away that I would not even try to retrieve it. I was smiling in the picture because I was planning on heading down. I was done. After miles and miles of happy trekking, I quit.
As you can expect, Tom struggled to his feet, picked up my pole, and managed to talk me into continuing. We summitted together.
When we started down Tom was moving slowwwww. Full of love and respect I encouraged him. With love and respect he told me to go ahead. I had no intention of leaving him (even with his guide). He stated firmly that me staying was not optional. We kissed goodbye and I saw him hours later in our tent.
I remain so grateful for the many races he helped me complete.
And I am even more grateful that he finally let me help him. I got to encourage him finish his final miles.
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