Jennifer's 100 miler

When Tom started running with the Galloway group his first coach was Bruce. Bruce and Tom got along great and Tom also loved Bruce's wife Jennifer. Pretty soon all of us were good friends, running together and having big breakfasts afterwards.

It was actually at Tom's 50th birthday party that Jennifer committed to running her first 50 miler with me at American River! Jennifer went on to become one of the fastest, strongest trail runners I have ever personally known. She got so strong in fact, she decided to do her first 100 miler in February of 2009.

Unfortunately, Tom passed away and his memorial was the same day as Jen's run. We all talked a lot about how Tom would rather have Jen running than attending a memorial service, so she headed up to perform an amazing physical feat. Bruce came to the service and then headed back up to Huntsville to support Jen. She had a terrific run and dedicated it to Tom.

Bruce and Jen and I have lost touch but on many a run I thought about Jen's 100 and Tom's service and what a weird coincidence it was that they happened at the same time. Then one night at the rodeo I met Allen who helped pace Jennifer in for the final long miles of her 100 miler. He told me that he and Jennifer were sure Tom was there. For a long time every five miles Jennifer would tilt her head to Heaven and ask Tom to help her complete the race. And she would keep going. Closer to the end she asked Tom for help every five minutes. And she finished strong.

100 miles can take 24 hours or more to finish, and although I don't know how long it took Jennifer, I know that even fast, strong runners have a lot of pain and doubt over the long night hours they are out there running. I am certain, however, that Jennifer was never alone; Tom was with her every minute. And especially during those long last hours.

And I know that because given a choice Tom would rather be out running with Jennifer than at a memorial service.

Rodeo Time

Tom and I loved going to the rodeo. We went almost every year seeing a band, looking at livestock, riding the Ferris wheel, shopping, and eating. Each of those components had a special flavor.
Tom picked the show and in spite of bad acoustics and remote seats we always seemed to see some blast from the past which led us to share music stories for ever. We walked around all the livestock not having a clue what we were looking at but amazed that people were so passionate about something so foreign to us. Then we went on the Ferris wheel. I'm not good at heights and really don't like rides, but every year, in spite of sheer terror I went on the ride. I crushed Tom's hand, started shaking, and waited for him to calm me down so I could look at the beautiful view. It was my act of bravery for the quarter.

We shopped. Up and down the aisles looking at everything and wondering. Sometimes we bought but usually we just ogled. We also stared at the women. As the night went on and the party people replaced the moms with strollers the outfits came out. Women that 30 pounds ago had no business wearing their current outfits strutted in tiny denim miniskirts and high heels. In addition they did not seem to get the notion that "just cause you bought 'em, does not mean you have to bare 'em."

And we ate. Corn dogs and turkey legs, french fries, and waffle cones. Cotton candy and ice cream. The night was a financial and caloric extravaganza.

I've been back twice since Tom left and both times were fun. And I'll go again. But it is just not as fun without 6'5" of love, holding your hand and squeezing when something funny walks by.

"The Shirt" - Niki Barrett

Memory of Big Tom

One one of Theresa’s recent blogs asked for people to share their memories of Big Tom. My biggest problem was narrowing it down..do I I pick the camping trip on 4th of July? The secret trip we took to buy Theresa a vase? The endless times we hugged where his role was to give the world’s best hug, and mine was to ask him for just one more squeeze? The trip to Sharper Image where he sat on a rocking horse designed to slim abs? In the end, I chose “the shirt”.

One weekend, Austin and I went to Houston to hang with Theresa and Tom. Sunday morning took us to breakfast at a cool, crowded place whose inefficiency in seating was completely outmatched by their phenomenal food. From there we walked down a cool street and went antiquing. Anyone who knows Tom knows how he loves to shop..and shop…and shop…this would make T crazy because he rarely bought. As an outsider, I found it hilarious.

This day was different. No one was in a hurry, and no one was impatient, and everyone was just cruising. Austin was searching for his endless “perfect beer glass”, and the rest of us were just hanging. Tom ended up in some funky vintage store and in the very back, found a purple classic western shirt. It was quite purple, and he loved it. They also had it in classic black. It was very expensive, and he just loved it. He tried it on for us in both colors, asking our opinion, but secretly hoping we would all pick purple, and insist he buy it. We did our part, and he did his.

Tom never got to wear the shirt. He got sick, and things happened. But for one day, Tom was so happy, and we were happy with him, and he was living with every part of his being. What a good example.

Love, Niki

A paver for Tom

Dear friends,
For quite a while I have thinking of a way to commemorate Tom with something physical and long-lasting. Recently I was at Memorial Park and saw their renovation of the Tennis Center. In the main walkway they are laying 12" x 12" inscribed concrete pavers with inscriptions which they are selling for $1,000 each. Given that so much of the donation goes to support Memorial Park, a place Tom spent many an hour an hour on hot and cold runs, I think this is a great commemoration.

Tentatively I will inscribe (limited to 3 lines 20 charaters each):

Tom James Lawrence
All you need is love
1956 - 2009

I'll let you know when it is laid in place.

Love Theresa

Tom and Julia

Tom was really good with kids. He loved them and they loved him right back. He had great relationships with our niece Alex and nephew Noah, but outside the family he had a very special love for Julia Klein.

Jennifer (Julia's mom) and I met back in graduate school. Seems like (and probably was) two decades ago. Jennifer met her husband Mike shortly before Tom and I met so we did lots of growing up together.

Tom and I were blessed to be invited to the hospital right after Jennifer gave birth. Tom was the first "non-hospital person, non-Klein" to hold Julia and I don't think he ever wanted to give her up. He was so happy with her. We would go to the Klein's and he could barely take his attention back to the adults. Tom also loved Sasha, (Jennifer and Mike's son) but somehow that first-minutes-of life-bond remained so strong.

The weekend after we found out about Tom's tumor we took action to get our paperwork in order. We needed to get various powers of attorney in order and wills witnessed, etc. We went immediately to the Klein's. Mike cracked jokes, Jen gave us cookies, Sasha played with trucks, I tried to act normal, and Tom sat at the kitchen table with his arm around Julia. When we left Mike took our picture with the kids. That picture was on the cover of the medical binder we used for years.

A long time after Tom's service I found a note Tom had written about his two favorite pictures. One was the picture Mike took that day back in June 2007.

Tom's truck

As long as I knew Tom he was an SUV kinda guy. When we met he was driving a black SUV that was already old and he still had to keep it and pay on it. He got screwed on a lease and ended up with too many miles so he had to do a buy out.

It was finally paid for and Tom still drove the heck out of it. One day a young man knocked on our door. He wanted to buy Tom's truck for $500. Tom was very honest about the vehicle's challenges but the man wanted it anyway. Tom researched it on the web, found the price was fair if somewhat generous and sent it to its new home.

Then he went shopping. He came home with a Chevy Trail Blazer. Above is the picture they took when he signed the papers back in May 2004. The Chevy was a fine car and although the gas mileage was low it hauled all his gear and all my projects and our dog and boxes of stuff all the time. I rarely drove it being content in my convertible.

When Tom could no longer safely drive, maybe in October of 2008, I started driving his car because it was much easier for him to climb in and out. When Tom died I alternated driving it every other week. I thought about getting rid of it but my car is just not so good with a dog or a 2x4. I thought about getting rid of my car but Tom's car is not so good with the top coming off. And since they are both paid for and low maintenance I'll just keep them until some financially driven event causes me to change my mind.

However here is the cool thing. After driving Tom's truck for well over a year I noticed some buttons above the windshield. After pressing them all a few times Tom's voice came out! I was really hoping it was like OnStar from Heaven but it turns out it was a memo recording system that Tom used once for testing. He spoke part of the Gettysburg address.

After being in that car alone for so many miles and still apologizing when I spilled my coffee, stressing over the dog hair, and knowing I should wash it more than quarterly it was a blast to have Tom's voice in there with me. Here is how it sounds...

Click here to listen.

(or cut and paste this link into a new browser window http://www.box.net/shared/g464ns47bu )

No idea why hearing Tom's voice from back in 2004 when he had his new car feels so good but I have listened to it 100 times.

2.8.10 Call for posting

For a really long time now I have been posting about Tom. Most every post is me trying to tell even more about this extremely wonderful man. I'd love to expand the view point.

Will you please contribute? One line, or three paragraphs or multiple pages. Photos or no photos. Even a video or audio clip would be great. Clearly, the posts I have written are not monumental or the stuff of literary legend. Don't make it hard. Just type and feel.

Email your words, etc. to me and I will so happily post them. I'd love to hear stories of how you met Tom or what happened in your lives together. Thanks for thinking about it.


Love Theresa