Tom was cremated per his wishes. He also suggested a specific place in the hill country to drop his "ashes." I use the term "ashes" loosely because as you may know, that is not an accurate term. It is more like little rocks the size of those that go in fish bowls. And there are a lot of them.
At any rate I was heading to Austin this weekend and felt it was the perfect opportunity to take the next step. But then I started freaking out. I am just not ready for such a major step. Then I started thinking about this project my friend Jen and her kids have been working on. They have this cut out called "Flat Stanley" (I think). And everywhere they go they take pictures of Flat Stan like at a crawfish boil, and on an Easter Egg Hunt, etc. So combining this idea with missing Tom horribly and distributing his ashes, and good family advice, I am going to send him all over the place in little baggies. I am even making a "Flat Tom" to photograph the distributions.
And although it sounds like I am making light of this it is very, very serious. I want Tom's little rocks to be in many, many cool places. If you are going somewhere very fine or even somewhere Tom would love please let me know. I would be honored to give you a baggie of little rocks and the Flat Tom to use in a photo documentation.
With love,
Theresa
1 comment:
Theresa, it's 'talisman' Gail from AZ. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and to tell you a why I seem to relate to you. Don't feel bad about freaking out...it took me about 2 years before I could even go pick up the ashes of my husband (also, Tom). And I'm still distributing, the lastest was in the San Fransico Bay I did it with his brother Mike and my husband Jim a couple of months ago. (Tom's family call Jim a brother from another mother :) BTW, It's been 14 yrs since I picked his ashes up at the funeral home and every day is still a 'next step'.
I read this in a MADD publication - It makes sense to me - thought you might like it...
"Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation. For the gap, as long as it remains unfulfulled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. He does not fill it, on the contrary, he keeps it empty & so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain."
Take care of yourself Theresa, you have a wonderful family and great friends that care so much. Peace to you.
Namaste,
Gail
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